There are millions of people who are in love and in pain because their love is not returned. Chances are, several people you know are going through…
There are millions of people who are in love and in pain because their love is not returned. Chances are, several people you know are going through the painful process of falling out of love. Falling out of love is usually a natural, although painful, process. Most people can and do fall out of love without help. Time heals, they meet other people, and their lives go on. On the other hand, for some of us the loss of a love can be almost overwhelming—an obsession, an intense, enduring, immobilizing pain.
In order to “fall out of love,” first and foremost, we need to realize that “falling in love” is not a rational process. It’s not planned or reasoned. It is an intense emotional and intuitive experience. A lot of it is magic and chemistry. Because falling in love is emotionally learned, it has to be emotionally unlearned if you are going to fall out of love. That is why insights, rational thinking, and exploring the reasons you fell in love are all inefficient and ineffective. The whys of your love can be intriguing, but it is unlikely that knowing them will help you stop the pain of being in love with someone who does not love you. You need to ask yourself if you want to stop the pain, and the way you stop that pain is not by talking about it or by looking for insights. It is by dealing with that pain in a direct, systematic way. (Phillips, pp.19; 24)
The central thought of this paragraph is that
A) everyone naturally heals from the loss of love
B) love is not a rational feeling; it is emotionally learned and therefore must be emotionally unlearned.
C) for those whose love is not returned, there is no healing process.
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