here’s a peer review and I need a revision of the essay attached below

it is a “reflection essay” for my interdisciplinary writing course

please take a look at the syllabus to see the main goals of this writing course and the final draft should come with a “central idea”/ “thread” foucing on the main goals of the course in the syllabus.

also general guidelines are attached in the files 

700 words

The first thing I’d like to touch upon in my peer review is structure. The paper has a good flow and the thoughts are organized by section, so on the structure front, I believe you did well. That being said, I had a hard time finding a central idea or thesis that flows through the entire paper. For instance, your second paragraph in particular has several sentences in a row that all bring up different ideas. Instead, I believe the paper would flow a little better if you highlighted one point and maybe shared an example of how you improved in this area over the course of the class (as this basic structure seems to be the loose theme I could put together from the writing).

Though you didn’t cite any materials from Projects 1-3, your second section of the paper made it clear that you had some ideas in mind for what to use and what to cite, so on that front I can’t comment much. I’d say the first two paragraphs of the section do a good job creating a frame for an effective citation, and I’m sure that was your intention. I don’t particularly see how the last paragraph about the scholarly searches could be shown with a citation of your work, but if you had something in mind feel free to keep it. If not, maybe try molding it into your conclusion.

Your conclusion does a good job addressing areas you feel you need to improve even more which flows well considering the rest of the paper appears to follow the theme of things you learned or improved upon, and gives a good idea of what you took away from the course. 

Other than that, in terms of general readability, try reading your work aloud. I find it helps me clear up any areas that sound a little weird or need to be reworded. There were a few areas I would rewrite for clarity. Good luck on the assignment. It was a pleasure working with you over the last couple weeks.

I’m working on a Writing question and need guidance to help me study.

Discussion assignments will be graded based upon the criteria and rubric specified in the Syllabus.

For this Discussion Question, complete the following.

1. Read the first 13 pages of the attached paper which discusses the effect of government intervention on recessions.

2. Locate two JOURNAL articles which discuss this topic further. You need to focus on the Abstract, Introduction, Results, and Conclusion. For our purposes, you are not expected to fully understand the Data and Methodology.

3. Summarize these journal articles. Please use your own words. No copy-and-paste. Cite your sources.

min 500 words, APA format and references are important.

Public Writing Essay

BELOW IS THE ASSIGNMENT AND BELOW THAT IS THE WEEK 3 ASSIGNMENT THAT THIS ASSIGNMENT MUST BE DONE FROM. PLEASE FOLLOW THAT ASSIGNMENT BLOW AND REFERENCES AND GO FROM THERE THANK YOU.Using the topic you selected in Week Three’s Business Writing Essay assignment, construct an essay that discusses a public issue or concern. For this assignment choose one of the following:

• Write an opinion/editorials article for your local newspaper
• Write a speech that could be delivered in a public forum

The essay should use standard writing practices such as subheads, bullets, charts and figures. The essay

• Must be five to seven double-spaced pages in length (not including title and references pages) and formatted according to APA style as outlined in the Ashford Writing Center.
• Must include a separate title page with the following:
  • Title of essay
  • Student’s name
  • Course name and number
  • Instructor’s name
  • Date submitted
• Must use at least three appropriate sources for the intended public audience, including at least one government source, and one industry-specific source. These sources may or may not be the same as the sources you used to create your Annotated Bibliography for the Week Two assignment.
• Must begin with an introductory paragraph that has a succinct thesis statement that clearly states why the issue identified should be considered a public concern.
• Must contain at least three fully-developed body paragraphs must clearly support the thesis statement with relevant supporting points and critical thought.
• Must end with a conclusion that restates the essay’s main points and reaffirms your thesis.
• Must document all sources in APA style, as outlined in the Ashford Writing Center.
• Must include a separate reference page that is formatted according to APA style as outlined in the Ashford Writing Center.

                                     Week Three’s Business Writing Essay assignment

                                    Business Report: Poor Employee Performance

            Employees form a very important part of the organization because they directly contribute towards the performance of the organization (Weightman, 2008). The employees of New World Solutions Ltd (NWSL) have been found to be performing poorly because they rarely meet the objectives that have set for them. For this reason, the company is facing problems in the market because its competitiveness is very low. It has been unable to meet its targets and this is having a negative impact on its general performance. Keeping in mind that the employees are the driving force of any organization, their poor performance implies that the organization cannot perform as expected. It is, therefore, necessary for corrective measures to be put in place to ensure that employees are able to perform as expected of them by the organization as well as other stakeholders.

            The performance of employees is greatly affected by motivation and this implies that the organization should find out the different reasons as to why employees are not motivated and solve the problem. It is important for NWSL to take a look at the situation and reveal the different factors that are affecting the situation. This will reveal the problem and it will be easier to handle.

            Employees should be adequately trained on different jobs and be provided with necessary resources for them to boost the levels of their performance at work.

                                                                  The Problem

The internal analysis of the organization has revealed that there is a poor performance by the employees across different departments of the organization. This is a problem because it is against the expectations of the organization. When a business is established, it is expected to be successful and this depends on how the employees will perform. If employees fail to perform, then there is a problem that needs to be addressed in the best way possible so that normalcy is restored in the organization. In the different department of an organization, there are specific duties and responsibilities that should be achieved to contribute towards the overall success of the organization. These duties and responsibilities are broken down into smaller assignments that are given to different employees. The success of the organization is determined by the extent to which such assignments are accomplished. With respect to NWSL, such assignments are not accomplished.

            The lack of accomplishment of the duties and responsibilities has been linked to various factors. The first major cause is the idea that the majority of the employees do not possess the necessary skills and knowledge that should them to accomplish the tasks assigned to them. When employees do not have the necessary know-how, they are likely to perform poorly. In addition to this, it has also been noted that the employees are not being provided with adequate resources that should enable them to perform different tasks effectively. Without resources, employees cannot deliver according to the expectations. Lack of resources implies that employees do not have the basic support that they need. This limits their ability to achieve different goals and objectives assigned to them.

Courses of Action

            With respect to the problems identified at NWSL, there is a variety of solutions that can be implemented for the interest of making sure that the company’s employees perform as it is expected of them.

1. Employee training and development

   Employee training and development basically refers to teaching employees on how well they can boost their performance at the workplace (Michael, Haccoun, & Belcourt, 2010). As stated earlier, one of the major causes of poor employee performance at NWSL is the lack of proper knowledge and skills. Through employee training and development, the employees will have the opportunity of being trained on what it takes to perform different duties and responsibilities. Additionally, taking into account the current dynamic business environment, it is necessary for employees to be updated with different skills so that they can improve their performance.

2. Provision of necessary resources

   The analysis also revealed that the employees are not provided with the resources that they need for them to perform as they are expected. With regard to this, it is necessary for the organization to take the responsibility of making sure that they resources are provided. For instance, the organization should provide different tools and equipment that employees in different departments need. Necessary equipment boosts the ability of employees to perform better.

   Consequences of taking action

   Taking the different courses of action will come along with different consequences with respect to the identified problem. It is noted that the major problem is the poor performance of employees and this has been generally linked to the lack of motivation at work. Given this scenario, it is necessary for the organization to take various courses of action in making sure that a solution is found. The implementation of the solution is expected to boost the overall motivation of employees although this will come in different ways.

1. Increased knowledge

   As a result of employee training and development, employees will be more knowledgeable. When employees are trained on different aspects they increase their knowledge base and this boosts their ability of performance. This is a consequence of receiving relevant information in connection to what the employees are expected to do. Once the employees have this knowledge, they will be more motivated because they will be confident that they will be doing the right thing. For the interest of boosting the knowledge base and the confidence of employees, it is necessary for them to undergo additional training and development. Trained employees perform better than those who are not. This is a direct consequence of the course of action will boost the overall performance of the employees.

2. Empowerment

   Empowerment is a consequence of providing employees with the resources that they need. As aforementioned, it is the responsibility of the organization to provide the necessary tools and equipment that employees need so that they can improve their performance. This will empower the employees in the sense that they will have all it takes to ensure that they do their best. It is important for an organization to single out the specific resources that employees need to accomplish the duties and responsibilities that have been assigned to them. By doing this, it will be possible for the overall performance of the employees to be boosted because the organization will be showing support. Employees’ performance is better when they receive the support that they need.

3. General motivation

   Taking the courses of action identified above will lead to the general motivation of the employees. As much as employees are paid for the different services that they provide this might not be enough to motivate them to perform to their best. Therefore, it is necessary for the employer to provide additional measures that will boost the motivation of the employees to ensure that they deliver the best of services. Providing training and development, as well as the necessary resources, needed at work is a great booster to the motivation of employees (Laudy, 2005). This implies that they will perform better and enable the organization to be more competent in the industry that it operates.

               The performance of employees in an organization largely depends on how much they are motivated. Taking this into account, it is the responsibility of the organization to devise ways through which it can motivate its employees to improve their performance. The most effective strategies to achieve this include training and development as well as the provision of the necessary resources.

   References

   Laudy, S. (2005). Motivating Employees. Alexandria: ASTD Press.

   Michael, A., Haccoun, R. & Belcourt, M. (2010). Managing Performance Through Training and Development. Ontario: Nelson Education Limited.

   Weightman, J. (2008). The Employee Motivation Audit. Cambridge: Cambridge Strategy Publications Limited.

Choose one of the questions from the list below. 

1)      Reflect on the question by writing a 2-3 paragraph response.

2)      Include the reference (APA Formate) to an educational website other than Wikipedia that helped you to form your response, with a 2-3 sentence description of how this website enhanced your learning for the week.

3)      Select and add an image to your post that reflects your learning, including the specific reasons you chose the image.

Questions are:

• How might tropicalia, mariachi and salsa be collectively understood in relation to the theoretical concept of modernist-cosmopolitan musical traditions?
• There are dozens of recordings of “Oye Como Va” available.  Do an Internet search to find different recorded versions.  Listen to as many as you can.  Create an annotated list describing the styles and other notable features of the different versions you hear.  What does this exercise teach you about tradition and transformation in Latino/American music or in music, generally?  You may also want to include videos available on YouTube or elsewhere online.

• Using the term “Latin music,” do a YouTube keyword search. Take note of what you discover and document a representative sample of the different musical styles, artists, countries, and cultures represented. Write a brief report chronicling your experiences. What did you learn about the diversity of Latin American music? About musical tradition and transformation? What kinds of images and impressions does viewing Latin American culture through the lens of this experience generate for you?

• Latin American music is integral to the basic fabric of musicultural life throughout the Americas. Outside of what you have studied this week, what kinds of Latin music have you encountered in your daily life? How is this music used to reflect and express ethnic and cultural identity, and how has it shaped your own impressions or experiences of Latino culture?

• View a film featuring Latin American music such as El Cantate, The Mambo Kings, Buena Vista Social Club, Calle 54 or episodes from the documentary series Latin Music USA.  Write a review, integrating your observations of the film with what you learned this week.